Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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