I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
