i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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