Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
