You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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