4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
