the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
