last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
