Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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