Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
