Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
