it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
