Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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