i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
