If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize