I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you win again, gameday.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize