That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
