Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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