I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
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you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
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Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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