i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
