remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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