apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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