thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
