theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
