the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
