it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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