Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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