Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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