ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
