Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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