Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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