four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Terrible idea I love it
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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