Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
