I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
