"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
