are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
