C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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