Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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