Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
