you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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