"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
