Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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