I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
