This house was built for laser tag.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
