I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
