I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
