how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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