can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
