dude i'm inner monologue high
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
