i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
