brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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