When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
