nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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