Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
