he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
