So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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