what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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