I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
