I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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