On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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