Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
