I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
