Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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