honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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