her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
