so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
