Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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