Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
