Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
bring money and cleavage
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
